Help me understand my boyfriend's mindset
I'm writing this to understand if I'm overthinking or if there's actually a problem. I love this man a lot and I've never had many relationships. I'm his 4th girlfriend and he's 26 yo. I come from a small town and although, I'm free willed, modern and self sufficient, family values matter to me. I care about the society as well. He too is family oriented and he has a joint family + family friends whom he always prioritizes by being both physically and financially available. He is non vegetarian, drinks and I'm vegetarian + no addiction. This was a quick introduction.
He earns double than me but everytime we go out, I pay the bill because he asks me for it or we split. There's hardly been a moment where he paid the bill for me. Many a times, he has enjoyed the free benefits that I receive which I could've used for myself. On my birthdays, he gifts something under 200 like a novel. On his birthdays I spend 1000+ amount and he's quick to give me feedback, if he liked it or not, mostly expecting something expensive than he'd ever gift me.
Whenever we travel together, he'll focus on networking a lot. He won't care that I'm with him, he'd make himself look cool to attract more crowd and tell me that this is how it's done. I feel that he likes to present himself well in front of his friends and other people, he's also over concerned for his family members but when it comes to me, he wants to be served.
One interview, 1000+ job opportunities
Take a 10-min AI interview to qualify for numerous real jobs auto-matched to your profile 🔑
Hey first of all you haven’t mentioned your age but only your partner’s. I just wanted to have an general idea to bind my conclusion nothing else. Coming to the relationship- not sure how long you have been with this guy, but reading through your post- i sense toxicity and a constant urge from your side to give your all and at the same time the guy taking you and your money for granted. This will not nurture you but kill your self esteem gradually and make you self doubt everything and anything that he tries to show how it’s done. You will be better off with someone who values you and your time and money. Relationships might feel addictive initially given it’s your first and it’s his 4th?? I don’t know i am just having very bad feeling about this guy not because of the 4th part but i think everything points to something not very conducive and positive. Move on and take your time. I see your evaluation is perfectly all right if you feel so in certain manner given above examples. Trust your gut and be trust yourself. Take care..hope you have the wisdom to think beyond THIS relationship.
You are the 4th girl and he is just 26 🙏🏻😄....Use 🧠 it's 🆓
As per him, the first girl cheated on him, 2nd one was asking for his time too much, 3rd one was a rebond. He also left me after 3 months but I begged him to stay. It's 3 years now, I'm too scared to let go.
Since it is your 1st he might have introduced you to a lot of new emotional turbulence in terms of feelings in initial days which led you to remain with him. Those 3 months made you to stick with him for 3 years. Come out of this relationship ASAP or else you will remain stuck with him for life (atleast mentally).
Let me introduce you to reality, the points you have raised shows toxic traits and even you are also able to see them through but it has become difficult for you to help yourself. It has become quite normal nowadays to take goodness for granted and toxic attachment is also addictive for those who chase perfectionism or those who try changing others for good because good people are scared to face failure in perfecting others life/mindset. You cant change others untill and unless they make efforts so i would say look through their actions and if you see no results then it's time to take a call.
He does not love you. You are wasting your time with him period .
I feel like he is narcissistic. I have dated this kind of guy trust me he will take all your peace at the end he prioritizes his needs only. I would say please stay away from him for your mental peace
Plz dump him and detach yourself from such kind of ppl. You are being used. If not money, he can give time, the most expensive thing in this world. But clearly he is always focused on his needs like u said. Break up and wake up girl! N just chill!
Can't agree more
He is using you for your money. And he doesn’t care for your emotions at all. He only values himself.
Leave him.
He’ll come back crying to you. Because he knows that you really care for him and he can manipulate you into guilt.
DO NOT ENTERTAIN HIM AT ALL.
Please Muster all your strength. Please Do not think that this is the only man that you deserve in life. life is very big. Most of the men you’ll meet in this world would be better than him.
Stay away, if you get time ..go through the case study of Deepika Padukone and Vijay Malaya's son..
She used to pay every time , later it ended very bitterly..
If somebody truly loves there girl , He will keep her a pricinces and let her not spend even her penny
Hmm.. I'm fine splitting the bills. I felt bad when he asked me to pay entirely on the spot and that too more than once. Sometimes, we are on a tight budget and it gets embarrassing. I'd not do that to anyone, that's why I had to introspect.
You are clearly a fun timepass for him.
He is just using you and he is money minded. Come out from this trap and focus on yourself first which will help in the long run.
It seems from your post that he is taking you for granted. Even friends treat better. Also, you don't seem too happy with the relationship. Being in a relationship is a choice. In my opinion you should be in one only if it's not affecting your peace of mind.