Have become a laughing stock in my peer group
Lately, I have been feeling like a laughing stock within my peer circle. No, it’s not like they are laughing straight onto my face or I have done anything utterly stupid; it’s just an internal feeling that those folks are laughing at me, just because of what my aspirations and thoughts were a year and a half ago, and now what I have been doing in recent times.
So the story sets in around when the placement season started. I was kinda overconfident that I would get a good enough job thanks to my solid resume (which I still think is much better than my equivalent peers), solid internships, projects, and connections. A CTC around 12–14 LPA was easily expected. Being in product management, it feels very decent to have a CTC around those numbers.
But the main problems start when the company where I was interning and almost had sure-shot chances at a PPO froze hiring, and my PPO was dropped. Mind you, it was a big tech company, and folks and the whole floor were familiar with my work, and it was genuinely helpful for them. But nevertheless, let’s not talk here about that.
Okay, months passed. I got busy with some personal stuff as well, wasn’t hunting jobs in scavenger mode, and was fortunate enough to land another role for the remainder of college as a remote intern in product management as well.
No complaints of the work, but yeah, I am underpaid. This is where the laughing stock analogy comes in. My CTC is around what TCS offers to freshers just based on NQT and a few projects. My friends who don’t have any work experience or even college progress are somehow earning more than me. This is not the worst part.
Worst part being working in a startup—the norms and culture demand to be available whenever required, and I don’t mind being available as well. At the end, it’s the work I enjoy, so no complaints. But folks doing a regular 9–5 seem much happier and content in their life, while earning more than me, with a stable project.
Recently, during conversations, everyone I met was taking it with a hint like, “bhai tera to sahi hai, tera profile accha hoga, tum tax bracket mein aata hoga.”
Here I am, working for a lesser salary, more responsibility and accountability. Personally, I am also kind of antisocial—don’t want to socialize much or spend on things for which I don’t perceive long-term value: regular outings, taking a cab everywhere, fancy stuff, PS5.
I like life more like a passive alternative, with a purpose. My motto is not to enjoy life, but leave behind something that people use for ages—kind of TVF Pitchers analogy, where in S1 the protagonist’s girlfriend is leaving him for a job in London, whereas she doesn’t want to go, but the protagonist motivates her by saying only our work is going to stay here after we are gone, and that kinda hit.
I have a nudge of writing as well, where I write and express my thoughts on various product management aspects. People call it “main pagal ho gaya hoon, kaam ko hi zindagi bana diya”, but it’s not really like that. I enjoy writing those posts and stuff.
It’s not like I have become like this now, but ever since childhood, it has been about goals. But somehow I have lacked everything, and thus feel like I have become a laughing stock for everyone.
Just felt like sharing. No point in whooping either—I either have to change my peer group or work harder.
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You don't need to change anything. You just need to accept yourself.
Some people are "people pleasers" - they keep doing things to please and impress other people, while some people are more independent minded and they march to the tune of their own drum, and live life according to their own terms.
You sound like someone who's the latter. But being independent minded comes with the burden of occasional judgement from society and possibly being a "laughing stock" at times. You just have to learn to ignore that, and keep doing your own thing, as long as that makes you happy.
Also, in reality, everyone is busy with their own career and lives, your peers don't have time or energy to even think or care about you, let alone laugh at you. So your "laughing stock" characterization is largely in your own imagination.
The world doesn't have the time or energy to care or think about you, and you also stop caring about what the world thinks of you, and just concentrate on living your own life, and be happy.
Just wait for one appraisal cycle if your startup does good it will reward you, happened same with me where I joined startup early in my life (earning around ~6lpa) got laid off as it got shut, joined another startup at ~8.5 lpa, worked day and night, expectations were high but covin hit, appraisals halted, but then after 6 months got 30% hike, started interviewing got multiple offers and landed on 20+ lpa which was way ahead of my college mates for 3 yrs experience, so keep at it
COVID era was different than it is today. So your advice might not be suitable here. Just saying
product manager as a fresher
What the fuck were you expecting?
Good that you shared your thoughts, Similar to how u are thinking about only yourself, people also think of themselves 99% of the time so there is no chance that others will put so much time and effort to get yourselves into their thoughts just to laugh at you. U need to understand this is your POV , but in reality most people will not even care about you so just focus on YOUR GOALS and not others perspective of you. Good Luck
Hey buddy, It's okay in a startup you'll gain a lot of experience which you can use later with an established company. IMO you're overthinking. You have a great resume and work ethic just stick for sometime here and switch because of it you will get a good salary as well. This is just a start you have your whole life in front of you. Take a chill.
Chill kar bhai...
Just work and leave the rest. Everything will get in place
Stop comparing yourself with the world dude.. If your peer group judges you by your CTC, then yes, you need to change your group.. Coz these kinda people don't know or care about growth. Their greatest achievement is their CTC. Run as far as away from them.
Second, like everyone already said, nobody gives a flying f*** about you. Stop giving yourself so much importance..
Use your time in the startup to your advantage. Get involved in as many things as possible. Take up responsibilities. As a founder myself, wouldn't more happy if someone from my team takes up more responsibilities. Your resume will become rock solid.
What peer group? Sirf tu hi h bhai. Mehnat kr aage badh aur chhap.
Bro keep believing in your creator...it is your learning phase to see who is your supporter and roaster... Keep the hard work and switch company if possible... Don't think about the people who don't care about you or your mental health... I have faced that kind of thing .stay strong bro. Everything will be fine at certain point of time❤️