Has anyone from a toxic family ever found “normal” things completely unrelatable?
I grew up in a very orthodox, non-affectionate family. I’ve often been reminded that things like a good education and even “permission to work” are privileges I should be grateful for—remarks that were never directed at my brother. Most days in our house are fine, but occasionally, things get under my skin.
Yesterday, for instance, it was Diwali, and as usual, our yearly tradition of a massive family fight took center stage. There were tears, and my brother even threatened to leave the house. But I’ve gotten so used to these meltdowns that I was just unfazed, even relaxed about it. Later that evening, I told my friends the story, laughing as I recounted it, only to be met with dead silence. The look on their faces said it all—pity and disbelief.
That’s when it hit me: they come from happy, functional families.
Has anyone else ever had that moment where you suddenly realized, “Wait… this isn’t normal?”
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I relate to this so much. After a point I just stopped recounting anything that happened at home to any of my friends since all of them come from normal functioning families that they just didn't relate to what I was saying or didn't understand it, cos it's just not their reality. Only one friend has begun relating to what I say because she's now married to an a$$hole
@palak1822 this is "ghar ghar ki kahaani" for many middle class families in india
Yes I come from a similar family and moved out this year. Refused to go home this Diwali and was met with similar emotional blackmail but it doesn’t affect me a single bit. They rarely call but when they do it’s to taunt and scold me and I just mute myself and continue work on the other line. We have to build this shield around us to protect ourselves.
Yep, has really hit me hard. And in some ways, I only understand what’s normal when I interact with others who have had a normal life.
My parents have always been fighting and I never saw them have any affection whatsoever. Apparently that has fucked my relationships hard.
Lol my parents used to threaten to throw me out of the house when I was a kid if I didn’t listen to them. And they would make a point of my inability to live without taking some expensive meds which I wouldn’t be getting if I was thrown out.
I used to get panic attacks and now it doesn’t affect me at all because first of all, it’s so normalised already and second, I am self sufficient.
I only ever told my best friend about this and she hugged me and cried for a good 30 mins. Until then, I used to this was something everyone goes through and subconsciously I was thinking I should be grateful for having my parents for letting me live.
This happens in my house also, before any festival, occasion, etc
My observation is, if parents are not decently educated and in tight financial conditions, this thing usually happens...