Genuinely tried to understand Islam, ended up feeling even more conflicted.

Kya b*di hai ye!! You put so much effort just to understand that Islam, like any other religion is patriarchal, misogynistic and orthodox!! 🤷‍♂️ In fact it is more orthodox and rigid than others.

All religions are bad, religions enslave you, and block and suppress independent thinking. And all religions are suppressive of women, some more some less. The moment any ideology starts enforcing and commanding to do certain things in specific way, that’s the moment it starts going downhill.

Read OSHO’s viewpoints on religions. And you can read BR Ambedkar’s Book too (Pakistan, or the partition of India), where he has written a lot against both Hinduism as well as Islam.

1. “You're so precious, we lock you in safes.” Is that love or possession?

Islamic perspective: This analogy is often misused. Islam does not view women as possessions but as honored individuals. The emphasis on protection stems from value, not control. Just as valuable items are safeguarded, Islam encourages respectful boundaries—not confinement. Women in Islam had and still have roles as scholars, businesswomen, leaders, and warriors. The goal isn't restriction, but dignity, safety, and mutual respect in public and private life.

2. Modesty is supposedly mutual, but women are punished more.

Islamic perspective: You're right that modesty is for both men and women. The Qur'an first commands men to lower their gaze and be modest (Surah An-Nur 24:30) before addressing women (24:31). If societies enforce modesty unequally, that's a cultural issue—not an Islamic one. Islam emphasizes justice and accountability for both genders. Any community that punishes women disproportionately is not truly following the balanced Islamic approach.

3. “Obey or be shamed or hurt” — is that real agency?

Islamic perspective: Islam values choice. Faith itself is not valid unless it is chosen: “There is no compulsion in religion” (Qur’an 2:256). If someone is being forced, shamed, or harmed for their choices, that is oppression—not Islam. Real Islamic ethics demand that people act sincerely, not out of fear. Agency matters deeply in Islam, both spiritually and socially.

4. “Men will ogle”—so women must adjust. What about teaching men self-control?

Islamic perspective: Absolutely agreed. Islam starts by telling men to control their eyes and desires (again, Qur’an 24:30). The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught men to lower their gaze and respect women deeply. Blaming women for men’s behavior is unjust and un-Islamic. Each person is accountable for their own actions. Men are not excused—Islam expects them to rise to a higher standard.

5. Patriarchy rebranded as divine design? Why do women still have fewer freedoms?

Islamic perspective: Islam recognizes differences in gender, but not in worth or value. “Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you” (Qur’an 49:13). Yes, traditional roles exist, but so do rights: the right to education, to own property, to work, to choose marriage, to inherit. If these rights are restricted, that’s often due to cultural patriarchy, not Islamic law. Islam gave women rights 1400 years ago that were denied elsewhere until recently.

In summary: Your concerns are valid and reflect injustices that sometimes happen in Muslim-majority societies—but those are often due to culture, misinterpretation, or misuse of religion. Islam, in its original and ideal form, promotes justice, balance, dignity, and accountability for all.

Its a failed religion, someone tried to copy other religion but failed miserably. Must've been written by an amateur.

Abbey Sharam kar Reddit se copy kiya hai

Islam is just a lifestyle choice given the shallowness with which muslims all over the world practice it.

Over enthusiastic lads will only be able to tell you their perspective which is highly influenced by their environment or the people they've learned from

Abrahamic religions have a long history and and islam definitely is interesting. I ask questions and some questions about patriarchy is definitely guy wrenching.

There is a stark contrast when you read about God and his traits but when suddenly you see a sentence that sends you dizzy. Then you disbelieve but some spark comes someday and you realise that gut wrench was a result of your own shallow interpretations of a sentence and then you begin asking more

And everytime it hits slower but you are not able to make anything of your thought

Patriarchy and misogyny have always been passed on to generations after generations irrespective of the region or the religion.
Religion is anyway a means to divide people 😑. Some are accommodating enough to accept changes and reforms and some aren't.

Also, having been friends with/coworker to Muslim people, I believe not all the people who follow Islam have a regressive attitude. But yes, I agree that some of their teachings do not hold any meaning in the current world, just like the case with other religions for that matter.

Regarding wearing burqa or hijaab, it should be a personal choice, ideally. But I agree with your view that many girls are conditioned in a way to "choose" wearing it.

Anyways, I strongly believe one should take away the positive and meaningful teachings from one or many religions and practice those.

Excellent, thoughtful post, OP.

All your questions are on point. It seems to me that you already have the answers to your own questions, and either not fully ready to accept them or just uncomfortable about confronting the truth.

To keep it concise, religion—any religion— is just a means of control, varying only in degree. The parts of them that are enriching or have genuinely profound ideas, you can entertain and learn from those independently, without subscribing wholesale to any one religion.

Speaking of Islam specifically—if everyone's equal, why did god choose the prophet to spread his teachings, and why not anyone else? Why not a woman, since they're supposedly worthy of "double" the respect (whatever that's supposed to mean)?

I'd recommend checking out Vimoh's channel on YouTube, you may find answers (and more questions!) there. Good luck :)

PS: I'm not a woman; only responded because I thought I had something useful to contribute.

@everyone @shpinq
just one comment why do so much love freedom and independence? What if dependency is what makes us human? and if that's the constraint in life and that meant people across religions had some set notions about gender, which btw are very similar, then how about we accept them.

Let me give you a very extreme example: if majority of a group says that this road is haunted, this hike is dangerous, this lifestyle is wrong.. you get the drill... then why are we always trying to question it and intend to actually do exactly the opposite?

I read maybe 1/3rd till the lioness context and till that the Muslim guy is correct. Stop doing, baal ki khaal. Any religion is about oneness with God, name any. This is the jist.

They treat women the same no difference between wife and sister.

If you are so curious to learn Islam first start with your own religion.