Friendships, Midlife & Growing Political Divide
Lately, I’ve been struggling with something and wanted to hear from others who might feel the same way.
At 45, I have a decent social life, but maintaining friendships has become trickier with the ever-widening political divide. I consider myself a liberal (feels like a dirty word these days, doesn’t it?), and over the years, I’ve tried having civil discussions with those on the opposite end of the spectrum. But let’s be honest—many of those conversations go nowhere. After a lot of frustration, I chose to disengage.
Still, it’s hard to always bite my tongue, especially when someone confidently states something factually incorrect. I jump in, things get heated, and suddenly, an evening with friends turns into a mental burden that lingers for days.
At times, I wonder if I’d be better off just spending my time online, in spaces where conversations don’t lead to these real-world tensions. But then again, we’re constantly told that real-life connections matter more than virtual ones. But do they, if they leave you drained?
Making new friends at this stage in life isn’t easy, and I worry that this divide will only deepen as things become more polarized. So, I’m curious—is anyone here going through similar emotions? How do you navigate friendships in this climate without losing your sanity?
Would love to hear some new perspectives!
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Don't mind, but the ruling party highly believes in Divide and Rule!!
In my childhood, I never saw this kind of hate that's been spreading across India nowadays....hindu-muslim, hindi-tamil, north-south, east-west... e.t.c...
Nowadays people are like brainless zombies they get offended very easily if they come to know the reality or their facts get checked.
The only reason we never saw this in childhood is because social media was non-existent.
There was always news but the newspapers or media before internet became cheaper could give only so much information.
The rat doesn't fear a cat unless it knows who is the prey and who is the predator. Similarly, in your childhood, there wasn't much awareness in india due to limited social reach, everything changed when internet became available to everyone. You didn't see anything that doesn't mean nothing happened. Hindu - Muslim is real just like the partition, closing the eyes doesn't mean that whole world is dark. Hindi - Tamil - Kannada, North - South is an issue fed in south to the indians untill it comes to business, Neither Prakash raj nor South cinema could stop making dubbing of non-hindi films. You shouldn't bring up such topics which have a very wide scope of conversation and are highly sensitive to prove a mere point of a 45 years old feeling dejected and lonely just because he isn't able to debate in his so called friend circle where he gets offended when one of his friend doesn't agree with his facts. He is 45 and must know that not everyone can be convinced and not every side of a coin will have HEADS.
I realised this 5 years back. Since then, stopped having political discussions. But if someone is discussing, I do make my stand known, but won't counter any arguments. Made things easier now
Yes, i too don't discuss anymore. But sometimes it gets unavoidable. For e.g. couple of days back we were talking about the Gujarat car accident incident when one of them quips, accha hua H area tha, agar M area hota to waha ke log usko maar dete. How do you not respond to that? 🙁
That's why I never talk about politics. If it isn't with someone from your family or someone that you consider family - It's completely useless , even if you tried you can't possibly try changing other people's views , even if you are factually correct. There's a chance that you might end up tarnishing that relationship.
It's very hard to separate politics from everyday life... You'll start bitching about blr traffic and before you know it Nehru will drop into the conversation 😁
Unless either of you or your friend are grade A lunatics, a discussion about Bangalore traffic never ends with Nehru or Savarkar. I very often have very intense political debates with my friends and acquaintances and we stick to the point.
I have already blocked more than 20 friends due to their Andhbhakti. Will continue to do the same . Once they will feel they were wrong they can come back
Retard level of chamchas and ther delulu
1 common thing in andhbhakt if you call them andhbhakt they will call you congress or Rahul Gandhi supporter. Ab batao ese c ko block na karu to kya karu
As much as liberals say right wingers are easily offended, more often than not, I find it to be the opposite case. We can clearly see examples in this thread where rightwing conservatives are actually responding in a rational and calm manner whereas liberals/left wingers are blatantly talking about blocking people and owning media and calling them andhbhakts.
And this is is the problem you see - you leftists claim to be tolerant, but you can’t see hindus putting their foot down and taking a stand. When the other community burns city, railways station, roads, transport - your left wing can’t even call it out. This is where the hypocrisy lies.
I’ve had political discussions in my workplace (though I wish to avoid it mostly) to my higher-ups who have the same leftist ideology. The key is to put your point across calmly and rationally. You’re 45 years old - if someone is wrong - you can correct them rationally- if you’ll bring in your ego and pride into conversation- you WILL lose the relation. It’s as simple as that - you hear the other person out, you put across your points, you don’t try to MAKE them agree to something they don’t want to and you respect them and their views. That’s it. That’s the key. You don’t need to escalate everything into a competition. And If the person in front of you is not capable of understanding these simple things - you walk away. It doesn’t have to be THAT deep.
Someone gave a valuable advice:
Tackle the argument but don't tackle the person.
I think today people in general whether they are right, left or center attach every argument to everyone's identity which defeats the purpose of having a rational discussion.
