My friend was laid off and unemployed for 6+ months. I asked him twice in the first month if they need any help but they wouldn’t talk to me when I brought this up so I took the hint.
Then after 6+month when they asked me - what do I do? I gave them detailed instructions on how to work on resume with links and said consume this create a version and we’ll take it from there. They didn’t even watch the videos and I was thinking how could someone be so lazy, I was annoyed and stopped trying after 2 follow-ups.
They finally did get a job but had to go services from a product co. A downgrade in company quality.
There have been ups and downs in our friendship but recently whenever I needed their help they’d offer it and help me understand things even when I didn’t know what I needed. Context is emotional intelligence and understanding other people’s POV - at which they’re much better than me. And this too when many others wouldn’t even tell me these things on asking straight up - because it’s basic common sense. It’s not for me, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.
And even though they’ve done very petty things in the past, they already helped me twice in a month and I feel awful - I could’ve been a much better friend when they were unemployed. I could’ve invited them to a cafe and worked on their resume together.
I’m feeling bad that I didn’t realise I could be a better friend until I was shown what it is to be one. That makes me selfish and I’m ashamed of this. In a way I didn’t do it purposefully, I didn’t have the EQ to empathize with their mindset and what they’re going through when being unemployed.
in the end a friend in need is a friend indeed,
I’ve realised I’m selfish, not just this but other things that were much more obvious than this. I look at things in angle where I see what do I have to gain. I grew up poor so this mentality is a side effect.
Your thoughts on this and what it means to be a good friend? Any other friendship stories/lessons?
