Finding it hard to manage friendships
27 | M There are times when i find that my friends (school, UG) have grown up too much or they just make fun of me unnecessarily everytime like i m a punching bag. And when i do these "JOKE" with them either they'll get angry or go or pretend that i can not take jokes. Saying things about me in the name of fun, pretending that i am a kid and can not do these. Sometimes i feel that i should leave them. As 1 guy is with me since 11th class whom i consider like brother. But sometimes even i think that he is just there because we know each other from long time. 1 girl is with me sine graduation days she pretends that she is doing me a favour by being my friend and she is superior then me. As if i did something with her. Although she came over at my place and stayed there for some few days and i did nothing to her (in you know what sense) even i told her that you stay here like its your place. And yet she be like you are nothing, can't do anything in your life and all that just because i do not have a relationship. It has been around 11 yrs since i am friends with the guy and around 8 with the girl. Sometimes i feel they have made a perception about me base on the mistakes that i made in my college days. I mean who doesn't make mistakes. There were times like when i snapled at them and they were like oh let him be he'll come back. We ere just joking. We did went on a goa trip a few years ago they both did everything all the planning and so on like i am not even there and i should just follow them every where.
I had one female friend too from school days (11th) but we no longer talk as she is pursuing CA after her CA, and doesn't really talks now. As i was the one who used to text here by teasing but since i stopped there is no message from her side too. She was a very good friend of mine who stood with me after my breakup with my gf of that time her friend. She was the only one who asked me about my side of the story. And from that we became best friends.
Does anyone feels the same sometimes with there friends too or am i thinking it way too much.
Any advice ? Ps. The guy got recently married, so
Im the same age as you and I agree its hard to maintain friendships these days. Its not a simple lets hang out at the mall, nowadays they need elaborate points / reasons to meet. I think this is because everyone is busy at their jobs, we barely get time to take a breath.
Also with time, it feels like my friends have become very greedy, too focused on wealth. Whenever they meet me they ask about package/job/marriage it's almost like I'm talking with uncles.
One of my friends was single last month with no girlfriends and married this month, like wtf bro. I feel like they are doing a speedrun of some checklist of things to do as per society. Whenever I meet them I'm reminded of all the places in life where I'm lacking.
Welcome to Adulting 🙃
Yes, very much true and once they starts discussing about package, that peer pressure kicks in. And for me since i am earning nearly half of others, i starts to feel being behind and pressure starts to kick in. Its not about all friends but i dont visit friends who discuss all these things
I am 31. Its normal to lose friends. In some cases , i purpose cut them off and i have very few friends now.
- If I do feel that they are not giving time earlier i used to contact them again but now i tried few many times, but then if it doesnot work. I totally cut them off. Nobody is busy for to take a call once in 3 months.
- There are friends who remembers me when they want money. I too have cut them off.
- Its better to have a dog than keeping some of these people in life.
- I used to feel ready bad when they dont have the time to pick up my call but have time to spend with others and put insta posts.
- So my point is quality matters over quantity.
- If you feel undervalued, its not your problem, you are at the wrong place and with wrong people.
- Nobody is busy if its their priority.
- Work on yourself, earn nicely. Take up some hobbies, do travelling, talk to strangers.
- This is very important. One time you can do is talk to the security guards, small shop keepers, the people who clean roads. I do that. Usually people dont talk to them. So when we talk , they feel so happy
