Feeling lost in Life
Hey Currently I am 30 by real age on paper I am 28, I am having around 6 YOE earning 23.75 LPA. My parents and society are forcing me into marriage. Wherever I go the only talk I get that what is my plan to get married, even someone says you are getting late.
When I tried to look for matches I have not got good match, I don't want to marry just anyone for the sake of society or parents.
All over that I never felt insecure about my height which between 5'7 to 5'8 nowadays people find it less, I don't know what is the right parameter for them I am a male with a normal weight 68 kg.
In the start of my carrier I have paid my education loan and not able to save much like others did, like I don't have a car , flat just have a bike that too I have bought last year. I have a cash of 25 lakh as saving and emergency fund.
Also as you know, as we are growing we are losing friends. I don't have anyone to share all these. I was planning to make a switch but because of these thoughts I am getting a bit distracted and Not able to upskill.
Do you guys feel same ?
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Sir i 28, too face pressure of getting married, but i dont do things that i dont feel like doing and marriage can make or break a person's like , i am not gonna gamble my life just because society is telling me to do. Whenever someone says when will you get married i tell random timelines by 2026 end july 26 etc .
But Bro I am 30 by real age 28 is just on paper so sometime I feel it.
Age is just a number bro, we all have already chekboxed many things like schooling, college, job , that society wants a normal person to do , it was also not a necessary requirement , many people thrive without formal education.
As per society marriage is next. Marriage is alighned with our biological cycles , and most civilizations independently came to a similar conclusion "The institution of Marriage" it's most efficient way to continue civilizations.
But if it is next it doesn't mean we have to do it , education and job is sometimes that is always a good thing it can't ruin you life , its a plus point to have. But a partner for life who doesn't accept you for who you are would be the mental torture.
So its fine to delay things, if you keep doing what you feel you want , eventually you might end up with a lovely partner as well. But it will always be better than life long regret.
Never rush marriage just because kamala aunty gossips about you all the time or that uncle pokes you about buying your own flat. Do anything if you really want to. Screw society. Take care of your mental and physical health. Nothing else really matters. You are right on track ✅️
Well said…..
See if you find someone you might like in your office, neighbourhood, your old school college crush, talk to them, step out of your comfort zone. If we just sit by ourselves and wait for things to happen it won't . Things will work out , everything will be fine
It might feel like everyone is trying to force you into marriage, it's not only our perspective, think from your parents perspective as well. Go and see or visit the people whom your parents show, if you like well and good and if you don't like it is also well and good . Don't go saying your salary and savings in the first place. Stop taking things personally and happily talk back to whoever talks about marriage. Ask them will they help in looking for a bride for you, will they marry their daughter to you or someone in the family circle. Just take it lightly
Mt kr bhai mere baat sun le ... Zindagi jhand ho jate hai ! Agr tu pehle se kisi ladki ko nhi jaan rha ya date nhi kiya hai na to directly shadi kbhi mt Krna ... Atleast date Krna for atleast 6m to 1yr tbhi Jake aage badhna nhi to sb barbad ho jaega Tera ...
Bhai 30 ki age me agar hm date karenge to 35 ke ho jayenge bhai shadi to date ki umar to rahi nahi bhai... Not practical at all...
Don't know why in India parents do and prioritize whatever others say. They are still in delusion that if they good family marriage will be good. Do whatever ur heart says. If u get good girl n courtship period than go ahead else wait. Being single in life is better than bad marriage
Bro it's the right time for marriage and to be honest it's a bit late. You already have 25 lakhs as savings and 24LPA package but most of them doesn't have that option because 6 years of exp are still getting less than 10 LPA. If you crossed 30 then you are on the rejection list. I agree that you cannot marry anyone but one day you have to marry someone. So pick your girl quickly through matrimony or through any other means. Now a days what we eat is full of poisons and adulterated foods. So reaching the age 50 is a bit tough and before that you'll get all the diseases like diabetes, pressure, backpain etc. so think carefully and take your decision. Apartments and car can be bought at any time but age cannot be. I can see most of my friends who crossed 30 rejected by girls and now they've become 35 and still searching girls for marriage. Now a days everything depends on the girl side. Once they agree then only we can proceed for the marriage process. It's up to you to decide.
Will think on it
Very sensible reply !! Liked it.
Think about future generation too !! If you delay further, you may have to get help to have kids.. men are at peak of their youth till 28-30..
Don’t delay further. Arrange marriage works too.. I agree you will not be 100% sure that you’ll get a perfect partner. There is no guarantee that through dating apps you’ll get right. Don’t delay further, talk to the girl and explain the kind of person you are and your expectations from her. Ask her opinion and expectations too.
Decide together.
Even if you date for few months, no guarantee that you’ll understand each other completely.
Trust me after marriage, if you both love each other, you’ll learn to compromise for each other and for your family and still keep the marriage exciting
Hey buddy, I think my story will help you. So I'm 30, unmarried, height 5'7, single and sometimes I too feel lost or to be precise I feel I have been late in achieving things that should have been achieved a lot earlier. My savings are around 9 to 10 lakhs and I too have a bike (Royal Enfield Thunderbird 350X) and my in hand salary is just around 50k/month. I worked in Indian railways as Junior engineer for nearly 3 years and then I decided to quit, now I work in the semiconductor industry as an RTL engineer (experience 1.5 years). Funny thing is when I was in the govt sector there was literally a queue of marriage proposals, and now when I moved to corporate there are barely any matches. And that's fine, because I'm not in a hurry (no one should be as this is an important part of life). I remember one post that I came across a long time back which said " someone got their 1st job at 22 and struggled at 28 after losing the job and someone got their 1st job at 30 and was happy continuing it till the rest of his life, someone got married at 27 and got divorced at 32 while the other person got married at 34 and lived their lives happily there on. We are not late, we are on our own timeline" That's the key takeaway, we are on our own timeline. Just because we are late doesn't mean it's a mistake. My advice would be to take up something as a hobby which keeps you busy, healthy and motivated. And one more thing, if you don't want to get married now then it's ok to tell your parents that you want to wait for 2 or 3 years, you know it's ok to disappoint your parents for 3 years rather than disappointing yourself for a lifetime.
Thanks for your advice
Don't mention it, what's life without a little chaos...
I am same age (28)of yours and also same thing i dont have flat or even bike. I don’t have even half saving as you as i started 2 years due to wrong career choices.
Just one thing you need to ask yourself kinda introspection, i know feel stupid but like how do you think your life onwards like 5-10-15 years? Like marrying or not? Where do you want to settle? And take consideration of external factor as well like Society and Technology even your age.
Like case of marriage, Your AM matched will start reducing as i have seen most of the girls not want to marry someone more than 4 years to then
I want to marry for sure ... But nowadays girls expectation is getting way higher...