Everything Happens for a Reason: My Journey of Calling Off an Engagement
I am not sure what others think about marriage, but for me, marriage has always been a big goal — to have a family, kids, and face the challenges that come with growing together.
Unfortunately, that wish was washed away due to a recent incident.
I was engaged to a girl from a village. She was educated and working at TCS. During the marriage discussions, I personally asked her if she truly wanted to marry me or if she was being forced. She assured me that it was completely her decision and that she was happy to marry me. Since it was an arranged marriage, our parents also agreed, and the engagement was finalized.
However, after the engagement, her behavior suddenly changed, and she began showing her true intentions. Because of her financial struggles and low salary, she couldn’t spend much, so she chose me mainly for financial security. On my side, I wanted to stand on my own feet and move forward in my own way, but she didn’t like my approach. She even said, “By the time you die, will you take all your savings with you?” I was shocked by this mindset.
I decided to wait for a few days, hoping she would realize her mistakes and change her behavior, but instead, she started acting even more strangely towards me. Finally, I was convinced not to marry her. I first informed her parents and later discussed it with my parents.
After I called off the engagement, her parents scolded her harshly. To calm them down, she tried very hard to prove that my behavior was bad. She even had 50+ audio recordings of our calls but could not find anything to show me in a bad light. In the end, she came up with a new plan involving my horoscope. She made a fake call recording with a purohit (priest), claiming that according to my horoscope, my behavior would always be bad.
Even after all this, I still believe I will find the right woman one day. I will never lose hope. There are so many good girls in this world — why should I worry because of one bad experience? I always believe that everything happens for a reason.
If this is the reason; more than 60% engagements should be called off. 😅😏
So be it! No need to indulge crooked men and women.
That's exactly the reason we see more failures. Nothing to do with education, social status and success. Screwed priorities among parties is increasing rather than decrease.
What exactly happened in your case?
She just wanted my entire salary to go on her wishes - shopping, pubs, alcohol, and trips with her gang.
How old are you?
can we call her "gold digger"
Absolutely 🤑
Indeed. If she wants to spend then get a good package bitch. What are you doing in tcs?? Upskill yourself Switch the job get a higher package and spend how much you want. No need to marry a guy just for money.
Marry if you really want to be with him in his good and bad phases. You care for him. Respect him n his family. Grow together.
I am a software engineer and currently in talks with a girl who is SDM in my state. Need suggestions on if this combination will work out?
It's a high risk high reward situation. SDM is a good post and one can become IAS level officer later in career without clearing UPSC with SDM route.
So if the relationship goes smoothly then you will have a lot of support from her but if she decides otherwise then she'll have a lot of contacts and power to ruin your life.
This is awesome. Best of both worlds Gov and IT private job together.
Getting married late is better than wrong one. Girls now a days are ok with middle class life in parents house but not in in laws expects lavish treatment 😂
So true. All this for the lifestyles visible on social media. No one wants to go through the grind.
Well done bro. Before selecting a bride, always do few things,
- check her thoughts on financing
- What's her goal in life (should be logical and achievable) - a goalless girl don't respect money and tends towards spending a lot (of their husband)
- Date her for atleast 6 months, and try to upset her intentionally (ask her to pay for lunch or dinner, you may say that you might be laid off in 6 months, etc.) - these things will reveal her true nature. Does she need a sugar daddy or a true life partner
Your comment made me wonder if I am a red flag? 😅 I am not very career oriented or have any goals as such. I don't want to continue my corporate job and prefer to be a housewife and a mother after marriage.
Lucky you that she was a noob bro and u dodged the missile…. Would have been real issue if she would have shown true colors after marriage….
Bro, never tell your salary more than ₹50-60k or maybe ₹1 lac as per your convenience. Marriage shall be an equal partnership. She shall assist you financially and You shall assist her with chores. More or less is fine. Overburdening each other on any aspect is bad. Have a checklist on what to ask and discuss, including finances. These days parents themselves give girls such ideas - to marry someone rich and chill in life.
This is true....complete wealth/income shouldnt disclosed...it might turn against ourselves...show more simplicity...
