Dillema :- chase money or chase peace
I am a tech professional working in Bangalore, but my roots are in Bihar. My wife also works in tech, and financially we are doing decent — our combined take-home salary is around ₹2–2.5 lakh per month.
I’ve never seriously considered purchasing a house in Bangalore since I’ve always thought about moving back home one day. I’ve also been mostly working from home for the past 4–5 years.
Back home, we have a good amount of land, and even with traditional farming, we can earn around ₹30–35 lakh per year.
The challenge is that my wife doesn’t want to live there, as she feels Bangalore would provide better exposure and education opportunities for our one-year-old daughter.
On the other hand, I want to return home and either start a business or take over the farming from my father, who is currently earning well from it.
I’m unsure whether I should try convincing my wife to move back in the next 4–5 years, or purchase a flat in Bangalore and convince myself that it will be our home for the next 15–20 years. I have savings enough to buy a decent 2 bhk flat so money is not an issue at this point.
Maaan excellent practical life situation. A lesson for those who keep posting " I look good / i earn well , and I deserve a woman, but I am an introvert so never spoke to women"
These are the kinds of conversations to have before marriage. Unfortunately most of us don't.
There is no proper solution to this. My suggestion, pitch a mixed solution. 12 years for lower education be in city. Post that put kid in boarding school. Or 18 years in city till school competition. Then send kid off to UG and 100% you WILL move back to native
Saying Kid's education is just one easy to use excuse. Wife may want social circle, shopping spots, malls, in the area she lives. These things are not understood by us primitive farming brained men. Another suggestion is to constantly visit native town once every few months, but ensure a detour to the nearest city, to show her that all facilities are nearby. Also help in socializing at your native town.
Adding few more details. My wife is from same town . So she is already aware of the facilities we have. She obviously says that big cities give women the freedom and there is no judgement there and I agree with her but that has very little impact on our decision. Majorly the decision is for our baby. I have friends here who are doing great business and earning well say similar to me and I asked them that if they had to choose between my life and there life what will they choose. All of them had same answer. Their life for themselves and my life for wife and kids.
