Trending @Capgemini; Concern about my sister Please suggest something
Hi All,
I'm 24 years old. This is my first time writing a long paragraph.
So, basically, I am from a middle-class family. Everything was good in our family before the corona pandemic. After the last wave, my mother passed away, and everything collapsed for us. I didn't realize that losing one of the family members would change our lives upside down. Still, we held on tight.
After a few days, we left our village and moved to my dad's work location. Now, our family has 3 members: me, my dad, and my elder sister who is 26 years old. After shifting to a new location, my sister received a marriage proposal. The boy was decent, not very rich, just middle class. So, everything got settled, and my sister married him.
But after marriage, things didn't go well. There were fights, and her husband only listened to his mom. They tortured her mentally. She is innocent and never told us anything. After 3 years of marriage, they were blessed with a baby boy, and suddenly one day, my sister confided in my father and me that they were mentally torturing her. My father told me not to go, and they said, "Don't come; give us our baby and stay there."
The baby is with us now, but I'm really worried about my
sister and the baby's future. Not a single relative is with
us. I don't know with whom I should discuss these things. These things are affecting me mentally. Unable to study and focus on work even on health.
And don't know why sometimes I think more about society and what they will say now. She has a cute child now and what will happen to him even if we are there to support but still she will need a life partner. And if she returned to that home they will torture more and more.
Please suggest what to do.
Hey Buddy, I first of all want to say you are not alone. I would say, first give your sister sometime to heal and give her enough love and respect for tolerating everything to save the families reputation and still trying build a family.
As young adults we lack experience of the real world around us. And unfortunately it's not easy out there. Honestly I don't think every good looking and good natured human being is actually a compatible to us. Our lives and marriages cannot get accustomed to this thought.
Maybe give it an year or two let things calm down, sometimes two individuals get to understand eachother in the absence. Missing someone is also love. Do not refrain the in-laws to not see their child.
If things are abusive, then probably take a divorce due to incompatibility and no other things so it doesn't create a trauma for both individuals and child.
I know it's painful, and maybe you feel responsible for taking care of your nephew and your sister because you love them. But rather than helping her financially and securing her. It's important to hear what she wants to do. Empowering her with emotional strength to live life and maybe she would like to work and build her life herself.
You know right women are really doing great these days. It's not the end of the world. It's just the lack of negative experiences that's scaring and causing stress. And these are valid emotions. But trust me first believe that there is no problem it's just what it is.
I wish things will Pacify on its own. But let her know that she is not alone. There is help in every step of our lives. And 26 is a young age. She can get married again if she wants or never if she wants. It's all okay.
Don't think about the society, they don't give you food, love or affection rather pressure to look good, look positive, great. And turn extremely poor when things go down hill. And you must study and give strength to your family.
Thank you so much for your reply and support. Actually she has decided to go back to in-law's home as they are coming to pick her. Even if she knows if she will go now they will say so many things to her. But she is not ready to understand.
Seems She is very confused. We have tried to explain to her but still she is like I don't have any problem there.
She is saying like you are saying that is also correct and they are saying that is also correct but I don't know what to do.
So we have decided to let her go this time. Let her face the real world, let her stand out for her opinion.
Still I am worried is this right thing like I am sending her. Letting her go to in-law's home after this much drama?
@ShimmeringHorror @RegalClam @EvenMin @ThakaHuaMajdoor
Thanks for your reply and support through the words.
She went today with in-law's.
The pain of her departure cuts deep, especially after our heartfelt conversation just last night. We had meticulously laid out our support, shared every possible scenario, and reassured her of our unconditional love. Yet, despite our earnest efforts, she chose to leave with them. The uncertainty of her emotional state haunts me. What thoughts were swirling in her mind? What unspoken struggles prevented her from fully opening up to us? The silence between her decision and our understanding is deafening. In this moment of profound grief and confusion, I find myself longing for my mother's wisdom and comfort. Her presence would have provided the clarity and solace I desperately seek right now. My heart aches with unanswered questions and a sense of helplessness, wondering about the complex emotions and circumstances that led her to this moment.
First of all worried about your situation and be strong !
If your sister is genuine with her complaints towards husband and not even 1% chance to solve the problem means hire a normal advocate then apply for a divorce without expecting any money from him.If they agreed mutually then fine or else it ll take 1 year for a divorce.Once everything done , after a break find a good partner to your sister.Not all men are same so have a trust and search a good partner who accept the child as well if not handover the child to husband via court.Every problems will definitely have one solution.
Note : Don’t give false complaints towards him it may waste you ppl time as well.Be genuine and solve it.
Stay strong brother. Wishing you and your sister the best.
Totally agree with regalclam (1st comment). Do the same. And if possible let her learn some skill by this she'll be busy and won't think much about the past. And maybe she'll get a job as well.
Capgemini has a dedicated EAP for family related things also you can contact them and discuss these things they will provide appropriate solutions.
