Completely Burnt Out and Sad!!

This job has completely sucked the life out of me and i am so done!!! TBH it’s same shit everywhere not just here. So getting out of this hell-hole is not gonna put me in some heavenly abode where i find peace. I feel that i am trapped in an endless cycle where i am being exploited because of my niceness. My place in my team is that of a bell i see everyone trying to exploit me because i never answer back or that i tend to be reserved. People never take me or my opinion seriously. I know one thing for sure that i am considered a casual in my team like just a cog. I know my worth and that i work so much better than any of my team-mate. My manager once calls me absolutely berates me for not answering him on weekend. I am given 3 pointers as to what i should more in order to become the best while i see no one in my team do anything. The expectations bar is different for me compared to others. I am 100% sure that if not for the dependency that i have i would have been 1000% percent given the pink slip which they would give me anyway i know for sure. Its just that they cannot replace me easily it will take them 50-60 days to hire a new dev and get him to some speed because of the complex system i own.

I have always had this issue wherever i was. I never make noise just silently do my work and that is costing me in my career. Tbh i don’t even like my job but i am stuck because this is all i know.

I now feel totally burnt out and depressed am just going with the motion nothing more or nothing less. Eventually this is gonna catch up with me. I so badly need a break but i can’t since now I am married and have my own family to look after.

Hopefully whoever reads my message and is feeling the same as I am pauses and thinks for a moment that he is not alone. There are others who struggle too but we just have to move along.