Commitement Delay
I have been seeing this guy for the last 3.5 years. We talk everyday, he listens to all my stories all my dramas and helps me with all my difficult situations. He makes travel plans with me and if he is travelling somewhere he shares all his highs with me via video calls and texts. He is always there for me to the point that I have completely become dependent on him. Now whenever there is a situation my first instinct is to call him and am not able to calm down until I speak to him. But even though he is always there he is somehow also not there. I have never felt that he is very much in love with me. When we are together he will spend most of his time scrolling on phone. He will make sure I dont feel bad and or am always happy but I feel like he does so because he cares for me not loves me.
I have been asking him to take the next step for marriage since a year now and since a year he is saying that he is 90% ready but something is stopping him. A month back i stopped talking to him because I felt he will never give me the commitment or love I need. Yesterday he called me and I asked him what is the 10% blockage and he said he has a fear that he might not always love me. What am I suppose to understand from this whole thing? What do I do?
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I have a feeling that you were with someone who is already married/committed elsewhere.. else, why will he be virtually available and keep a distance when in person? It's time for you to connect the dots and find a way to overcome this rejection. The clock waits for nobody.
Very Good point!
Basically he is not sure he loves you enough to make a life long commitment of marriage, or in other words, he doesn’t love you enough to go for the big step of life long companionship commitment. That “might not always love”, is just bullshit.
Looks like he is corrupted by modern day suspicion virus. Better move on, he's not the one.
I guess you might have to move on and find someone who is interested or who loves you :)
He may be overthinking that he loves you but whether you might fit in his family or not or you can give him peace etc. Mostly males are not very good with communication (on emotional matters) so he may not able to express to you his exact emotion or concerns with fear of being judged etc. Or he may have taken you for granted or might his family looking for girls in AM where he thinks he can get better. How old are you and your age diff? Age is a kind of factor for marriage for boys