Clarifications on my previous divorce post
https://share.gvine.app/3sLdzspjND74xLht7
First of all, thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my earlier post about my divorce. I truly appreciate your support—it has helped me, even if just a little, to begin moving forward.
Clarification 1: I want to make it clear that I never abandoned my wife or my child. It has now been eight months since I’ve seen my child or received any communication from them.
About 2–3 weeks after the confrontation between us, I went to my in-laws' home just to see the baby. But they covered the baby with clothes to hide them from me, then took the baby into another room. My wife then asked me to leave the house.
Until that moment, I had remained calm and respectful—my true nature. But I was deeply hurt. Out of anger and helplessness, I raised my voice at my in-laws and left.
A week later, they moved to a different home and blocked all forms of contact with me.
Clarification 2: From the beginning of our marriage, we lived separately. My wife and my parents had very minimal interaction—only exchanging greetings on special occasions like birthdays.
There was never any interference or mistreatment from my parents behind my back. That’s simply not the case.
Clarification 3: Things began to deteriorate when my wife started living with her parents after the third month of pregnancy. I regret that decision every single day.
Unfortunately, we didn’t have many options at the time. She was posted in Chennai while I was working in Bangalore. Her mother stayed with her during that time and didn’t allow my parents to be involved or support her, not even for a single day.
I sincerely believe my parents would have taken better care of her, had they been given the chance.
Despite the emotional toll and the lack of respect I felt in that environment, I still made the trip from Bangalore to Chennai every single week. I supported her the best I could during that period, but I also felt that my efforts were being taken for granted.
Clarification 4: In my original post, I made sure not to share any personal details that could identify the individuals involved.
The only red flag which was evident and I missed was MIL would treat FIL as shit
When we were alone together, she was kind and things felt normal. I believed that, with time, the issues would resolve on their own. Looking back, maybe that was my mistake—perhaps because I’m naturally introverted and tend to stay calm, I avoided confronting things directly
Thanks for understanding
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All I can conclude from the info so far is
- She never considered marriage as a teamwork of you both.
- She failed to draw boundaries and got manipulated from your MIL.
- She was not emotionally or lacks emotional maturity to understand repercussions of such behaviour on your child.
- Her family was always behind money or had a bad intent (alimony).
- They took your nature for granted and wanted to use it against you.
There are some parts still missing
- If she had been only after money, she would have divorced u bfr having baby. Also, she never wanted to divorce u other wise she would have divorced u bfr after having baby.
- How was the time when u r were having long distance? Were u both in constant touch? Did she feel u cared for her.
(Saying from my experience, during my pregnancy my mom n husband were both together. My mom used to give me daily massage cuz of leg pain and discomfort, but I used to feel better only when my husband used to rub my hair or help me while walking) - Even during delivery my husband used to be there as I was more confident with him
- I had post partum depression I used to fight , my husband did everything to stay there take care of baby along with my mom, take care of my me, appreciate me daily. My husband did 10% only cuz of his office but I felt cared n loved cuz of him.
Pregnancy is difficult women need husband during that time. I think it was a very bad decision to stay separate during pregnancy
Most of marriages fall out when responsibilities increases or there is a rough time.
Also, a women will prefer her parents during pregnancy as it's not just about food and rest it's body changes and all the extra problems we face during pregnancy which most of time we don't even share with guys..but share with mom only.
She maybe wrong, but as a partner try to get her n baby. U mentioned earlier u both were doing fine. Talk with her parents n say u want to stay with ur family.
- I never once mentioned anywhere she is only after money, its about control and dominance on me by their family (not only her)
- I used to travel every week and stayed with her .. back then we had hybrid policy
- I never said I was not available during her pregnancy, I was with her all the time
- I accept that women should be with her parents, but they should not create friction between the parents or atleast not disrespect
Yes she may be wrong but I have to beg in laws who inturn doesn’t respect me, I have done that earlier but definitely not now