Candidate Aspiration Obituary

We regret to inform you that John Doe's dream of employment has tragically passed away after waiting 6 months for feedback on his final interview. Despite promising signs, his candidacy succumbed to "No Response Syndrome" a chronic condition caused by hiring managers and recruiters who never hit "Reply"

John's aspiration for a stable income, however, is survived by a perfectly crafted resume, a LinkedIn post that got 3 likes, and an unanswered email from HR that said "We'll get back to you soon"

In lieu of flowers, please send follow-ups They won't be read either