I feel dejected when I see couples around me, i question everything of what I did in my life, it's easy for many and it's very difficult for some, i never wanted any companionship in college and school i used to enjoy my solitude., But since I never tried socializing it's like very difficult for me know, I know many people are like me but they have good friends to hold their hands and help them with socializing, I don't even have friends who can handhold me.
I never thought that life will roast me on this thing that I never focussed on willingly, and now i don't know how to even interact with people, i ignored socializing so much that I feel awkward and nervous in a group of people but on the same time i want to be in a group as well.
I don't know how to chanelize these emotions but eventually I saw I'm becoming a numb person who doesn't feel happy or sad or excited at all. At times I want there should be person who could listen to me all day, make my presence felt and heard, but yeah it appears farsighted and sparse as of now.
It feels like being stuck in a cyclone and the more I try to come out the more I'm sucked into it. I wish that things turn out to be in my favour, nevertheless whatever happens one can't do anything except living with it regardless. Thanks for reading on what I feel.