Balancing career and child
Hi everyone,
I’m going back to work after maternity leave, and even though it’s work-from-home, I can’t shake this fear that I’ve fallen behind. I’m anxious about whether I’ll be able to catch up, and the thought of juggling everything feels overwhelming.
I truly love taking care of my child, but as I get closer to returning to work, I’m scared about how I’ll handle both my job and caring for him. Even though my mother-in-law will be helping, I know that around 75% of the childcare will still fall on me, and the idea of balancing all of that at the same time feels incredibly heavy. My husband has always been supportive, but lately he’s been completely absorbed in studying and working because he’s afraid of AI replacing jobs. With him spending nearly all day in front of the computer, I feel like I’m carrying both the emotional weight and the practical load at home.
All of this leaves me feeling like I’m not doing enough for my own career. I’m struggling with guilt on both sides as a mother and as a professional and I don’t know how to balance them.
I would really appreciate any advice on how to manage both my child and my career without feeling like I’m failing at one or the other.
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Why the guilt for career? Why the need to prove?
Why the fear of being left behind when you should be your competition and no other?
Your career is not your identity just like your family. Have you only taken birth to slog in corporate and earn the peanuts called salary? - No it's just a means so treat it, like it is.
You are born to spread happiness and being happy. Spread love and be loved. Take care of yourself and your family - your identity will be forged in hearts of your loved ones through the sharp edges of your smile
First of all, I think your husband needs to step up and contribute more. Caring for a child is not your responsibility alone — it’s something both parents should share. It’s not optional; he has to be involved. Otherwise, you’re left carrying everything while he behaves like an immature, career-focused partner. Being committed to a career doesn’t mean you get to opt out of parenting. Please have that conversation with him before you return to work, because without that support, it will take a significant toll on you.
Secondly, it’s natural that you might not perform at the exact same level at work right away, given the break during pregnancy and early motherhood. But with time, you’ll regain your confidence and skills. Engaging in some study or enrolling in a short course could be a useful way to bridge the gap and better prepare yourself. Hope this helps!
Thank you for your honest advice. I really needed to hear that. I will talk to my husband and also try to rebuild my confidence step by step.
He earns twice my income and says he needs to focus on his career, so he wants me to handle the child alone. What am I supposed to do?
First of all hire a nanny even if you have MIL to help. She will do as you direct whereas your MIL might not or you might not feel comfortable contradicting her. Believe me that stage will come when it's solid or screen time. Moreover she will also need rest and your child needs an active caretaker who can engage with him/her. Being WFH you can keep an eye as required
There will be mom-guilt for sure, but remember kids need quality time from you not quantity. Rather spend 4 meaningful, happy, active and playful hours with the child doing lots of activities, walk, play time than spending 8-hours where your mind is constantly overburdened and without completely being present in the moment. Take all the help you need, you are a mom not a machine
I suggest keep your work going but at least till your child turns 3 keep him as priority this is the time they need mom most and meanwhile keep learning new skills so that once you start focusing on work as priority you will find enough opportunities to grow