Answer to how to find perfect one

I have read some posts here on GV, and probably I also used to "Find the perfect one" and literally put down a lot of efforts in finding the one.

Now after these efforts I can tell you all the right ways and the wrong ways-

Wrong ways firstly (things that shouldn't be done) -

1. Actually having that thought of "finding the one" running in mind 24X7
2. Feeling that "we need someone"
3. Postponing plans of life until I find the right one - Not referring to physical stuff but talking about some fun things like trips
4. Actually thinking "they can be the one" in first 2-4 conversations
5. Dating apps
6. Mindset of "I deserve xyz type of guy/girl but why do I always get shitty guys/girls" - THIS NEEEEEEEDS TO BE FIXED. THIS IS CORE PROBLEM.

Right ways -

Firstly understand a most basic thing - things flow to you when you let them flow. If you hold sand too hard it will slip from your hand. Have a strong belief that things are coming your way. Now question is why do you always get soo many options but none of them is good enough?!

The answer is "we attract what we are" and not "what we think we are" If you think you are as rich as mukesh ambani then it doesn't mean you are gonna attract the best women. Similarly if you think "I am the finest girl and better than all girls in today's society" then it doesn't mean you can attract the right guys.

IN BOTH CASES YOU HAVE TO BECOME THIS!!

Things and people will flow to you when you become capable and universe sends it to you own it's own just the way right now "average guys/girls" are flowing into your life.

So actually level up yourself - sit down and list down traits which one should actually have to get a girl/guy you actually desire in mind.

For example - if my female friend calls and asks me how do I attract the right guy who takes care of me, understands me without saying much, respects me and family, takes me on international trips etc

Then answer to it would be -

1. To attract the one who takes care of you - you need to become the one who actually starts taking care of herself first - who takes responsibility of her own emotions and actions rather than blaming the world/family/office colleagues/bad friends for every wrong thing in life. When a girl becomes wise enough to take responsibility of her own life. Then suddenly universe will send a guy who will tell her - "baby relax I am here to take care of things for you" and actually he will do it with the outmost responsibility.

2. Understands me without saying much - for this you need to become one who has high EQ - one who can understand yourself better. Why do you do what you do. You need to first find answers for yourself - what is the best way to treat yourself when you have mood swings, what is the best way to bring smile to your face, what is the best way to teach me how to be patient and be calm in situations where anger comes.

Once you have answers to these questions and take responsibility of some of these by implementing them, universe will send you the one who would handle all your mood swings and will actually tell you "baby don't go soo hard on yourself it's okayy to feel like this" and he would actually mean it and would put a lot of efforts to make your mood right and would plan surprises even without you asking.

3. Respects me and family - to have this you need to have that trait of respecting and loving your own family with zero anger even when everything is going bad. Understand when we say we love our family - we put efforts to meet them. Having freedom is cool, just learn to make the right balance between living with/away from family and freedom.

4. Takes me on international trips - for this you need to learn how to appreciate whole heartedly his smallest efforts without comparing them to your other female friends or what you initially thought. The biggest motivation to a guy to grow up and earn more for family is "constant appreciation from family that he is doing everything"

So understand deeply, we attract what we are. We cannot attract a girl/guy who has high character when actually we don't hold that high character. You cannot attract a happy, charming guy if you don't have happiness and peace inside your heart when you are "alone - without mobile or any entertainment" You cannot attract a pretty, loving girl unless you are the one who takes care of your mind, body and soul and doesn't indulge in drugs, random h**kups, always thinks of lust.

This is what I have practically seen in life.

All the best!! Feel free to drop good comments - because I practically ignore all the non-positive stufd around me.