4 years away in bangalore... I curse myself for growing distant from parents
I moved 4 years ago with one dream: Crack a high-paying role, live below my means, and tell my dad, "You can retire now, I will handle the house." I had this plan of sending at least 30-40k home every month.
I was just reflecting on this yesterday night... it has been so long, and that just has not happened. Even though I could have.
Initially it was just not having enough money, that caused me to not be able to start it off.
Now I’m earning 2x what my dad made at his peak, yet I feel poorer.
More than the money, what hurts now is the distance. I used to call my mother every evening. Now, I look at her call coming and then swipe them away (feels shitty to even write this). I tell myself I’m "busy," but the truth is I just don't know what to talk about anymore.
Somewhere along the way, our conversations went from once daily to once in 3-4 days and from 10 mins to 2 mins.
I came here to give them a better life, but I’ve just successfully removed myself from theirs. This weekend doesn't relax me; it just reminds me that I'm losing my parents while chasing a lifestyle that doesn't even give me happiness.
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Been there just 6 months ago. I kinda started to get irritated when mom's call showed up. Tbh, on every call that showed up. Weekends went in sleeping away and insta scrolls. Didn't get the expected promotion. My brain cells were fried so bad.
Downloaded hinge, did not get many matches but met this girl who is 2 years older. Realised my life felt unbearable because of the lack of female presence in my life. Back in college, I had enough female friends, and had mom and sister at home. And now I mostly have some weekend plan (not with her always) - sports, movie etc. I feel generally excited when there is a call or text on my phone.
Idk how it happened, but I feel more confident, more relaxed, less anxious. 🤞
Just curious....what are you exactly implying, downloading Hinge helped you?
Hey brother, its really normal for a person to lose touch with their parents once moving out from home. Similar thing happened with me when I did. Now, even after earning 8x what i did before, even i cant send much money. But the thing is, its the small thing that matters, not the money or sharing. I talk to my mom morning and night, it takes max 2 mins mostly, unless i got something to share, i dont even talk to my dad for days, not because something happened but we both are wired like that. Just talk and tell them how u feel and its gonna get normal.
What stops you from talking to them daily?
Why don't you bring your parents to your home for some time? If everything will go well then you and your parents can stay together.
You are over indexing yourself based on money. Assuming you are in Zomato, around 7/8 years experienced maximum you would be earning around 1cr/yr which is good but not crazy.
Losing touch with your parents has a lot higher cost, take a leave and take a trip with them.
You are not sending rockets or running the country, most of us are just doing dumb code.
Take out time daily to talk to both your parents. If nothing ask about their day, what they did since morning, what they ate etc.
It's just u r running from reality, providing money is not a responsibility 😅
You can always quit and leave. You choose not to.
How often u visit ur parents?