23F: What are people in their early/mid 20s doing?
I am 23F. I live in hyderabad. Due to Covid (during my college years) and my poor social skills, I don't have many friends. (Specially in hyderabad)
When I open Insta - With the festive season coming, I see many people from my college attending various events with their large friend group
When I open linkedin - I see people from my college making switch to better companies
When I talk to my office seniors (early/mid 30s) - They tell me the wild stories from their 20s.
When I see grapevine post - I see people (few years older than me) saving/investing money, making switching companies, etc
I feel so left out anywhere I go. I need suggest on where can I put my energy?
For some context (if anyone is interested)
- i have very avg CTC
- i am average at most things i do
22F Bangalore, no real friends (because turns out I'm not a good friend, and I agree), no parties, no alcohol, early morning person, cry around once a week, 0 body count, staying alone. The only different thing in me is that I belive that this lifestyle is much better than the one you are comparing yours with. Don't fall into that trap girl, keep yoirself up and keep believing in what you're doing. Compare yourself with people who are even more disciplined not with those who keep seeking that dopamine spike every once in a while. Dopamine addiction is more poisonous than sugar.
That said, I am also addicted to dopamine, I watch movies and binge-watch things a lot, other things that I don't wanna mention as well, trying to fix that but as of now I'm in that.
I agree that social media addiction is like dopamine addiction.
But if we have no real friends (which is true for me also), how will can one enjoy outdoor activities like trekking, cycling, etc (they are more fun with a group) or get referals (for job switching)?
I try to go to gym regularly (which is an activity which doesn't really require a group) but that gets boring too.
Those people on insta, LinkedIn, etc can also find people doing even better than them. Even if you are the ceo of a company there will an even more accomplished ceo. There is no end to comparison... it is the thief of today's joy. Instead, at the end of every day try to think of 3 things that happened during the day that you are grateful for. After doing this for few weeks your perspective will change
I agree that comparison is thief of joy, but at the same time you can't just not compare yourself to anyone. Us humans tend to compare ourself with people we went to school/college with, because we don't want to be left behind. No one wants to look back 10 years from now, and think they could have done more.
After all the 20s are "supposed" to be best time of one's life. I have heard from seniors that it's all downhill from here - more responsibility, less friends, etc
Very unconventional advice: get married to someone like you at a younger age - you'll be really happy with that person. Don't waste your time in relationships - it will only add complexity in your life
It seems the best advice to me :)
This is the best advice, I'm in my mid 20s and spent my early 20s and teens going through pointless relationships that left me untrusting and requiring to take time off to heal deeply. If I'd just spent that time looking for something real like I am now, I would've saved myself so much time and headache.
I completely get what you mean. It's easy to say "stop comparing" but an empty mind is a devil's workshop.
The first thing to do is to improve your craft, to the point you don't realise when time passes away. That will heavily help improve your confidence and reduce the inferiority complex you mention at the end.
Second thing you can do is to join some online SAFE spaces like on Discord (hard to find but worth it).
Lastly, do short trips, read up on culture and religion, so you understand the world around better, and can also help be grounded.
Sorry forgot to mention the most important thing: Delete Instagram.
You aren't talking to anybody there, you are just scrolling and seeing ads. There is no real interaction. You are just a mindless robot for Meta's profits.
Same here..... Lost 2 years of college (2nd and 3rd year) due to covid. And The 4th year was just about maintaining attendanceš¤£.
Have 0 connections, and very few friends (maybe 2-3). Office colleagues are from other state, and nothing much left for me to do in hyderabad š¤£.
Being a loner, I have my perks. But that feeling of being alone and lost - it just keeps poking me always.
And same here - low ctc, avg skills - not enough to move for higher package, got no other skills/hobbies for passing time....
Just commenting to say, you are not alone in this journey. Try hard for better ctc and hope you find better colleagues...... Cause you (we) cant make friends out of our own boxš¤£š¤£...... Peaceāļø
Yes yes man, DM šš»
Do you see one thing common in all of your points,
Thatās Social media
Use the apps which are important to you and not which are feeding you all this.
Listen to some good youtube channels to rewire your brain,
Upskill yourself at your job
Have patience
Drink water.
āKoi kitna bhi kama le end mein sab marenge bhenchodā- Nikhil Kamath
The best thing about you is that you accept reality. I would not suggest you compare yourself with other social media posts. Trust me there is no stopping of comparisons. When I was in an older product based company, i dreamt of a decent package. When I got one in Accenture, now I see people having more package + living abroad dream. So there is always something to compare.
I am 29M, trust me, just live your life, I don't mean stupidly, do financial planning, enjoy things that you love doing. I was depressed in early 20s and trust me happiness and peace of mind is very very imp.
First thing -stop comparing yourself with some dummies.. Second-don't use much social media, everyone showing only green side of grass..
